Terror in Bop City: A Psychick Summoning
Publisher note: The album Bop city by Terror Jr is amazing and you should buy it. This is just a bit of fun that Dave had.
Friday, October 21, 2016: A lair deep underground
This is an account of an attempted summoning. The magickal work we undertake this eve is to create a new form of entertainment, bridging the gap between the state of non-partying and the state of fully actualized and manifested partying. We shall call this state the state of near-partying, and it is to be characterized by chill beats, gentle drinking, and the spectre of a party soon to happen and/or the memory of a party that has just occurred.
In order to manifest this entertainment, we must summon the avatar of this near-party state, someone ideally whose social media profile is fun and flirty, classy, always going to or coming from a party, always courting minor controversies but ever rising above them. Someone who is chill, just this side of bland, but somehow interesting even when overshadowed by other family members with much higher public profiles.
I CALL TO YOU, OH JENNER-FROM-THE-VOID. I BIND YOU THROUGH THE CREATIVE AND GENITIVE FORCES OF KETHER, CHOKMAH, AND BINAH! I DARE NOT SHOW YOUR FACE, BUT PERHAPS A PINK WIG IN CERTAIN OF MY MARKETING MATERIALS. I SHALL BIND TO YOU THE NAME TERROR JR, AS YOU DO NOT INSPIRE FEAR, BUT THE IDEA OF FEAR!
Jenner-from-the-void responds with barely-there vocals and minimalist beats. As they whirl in the darkness, truly we recall that anyone has potential, often hidden. A spare lyric emerges from the void of creation. “I got my own, no need to roll me a blunt” bursts into existence, ready to be placed almost anywhere, a song to eventually be built around this DGAF attitude. Blips and beats emerge, to be sprinkled throughout our creation, all of a single substance, but ready for arranging in an almost dizzying array of patterns.
OH GREAT JENNER-FROM-THE-VOID, HEAR MY FURTHER CALL! I BESEECH YOU TO COME FURTHER FORWARD THROUGH TIFARET, THROUGH YESOD, COME FORTH MY HOLY GUARDIAN ANGEL, COME FORTH AND MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN, WITH AN ALBUM THAT COULD BE ANYONE BUT COULD ALSO ONLY BE YOU, OH JENNER-OF-THE-REAL!
No longer Jenner-from-the-void, Jenner-of-the-real arranges the elements of her sparse creation – breathy yet surprisingly strong vocals, simple melodies, a dazzling array of synth sounds, and beats that you can never quite pin down, into a single cohesive mass that is engorged with the vibe of the near-party, that liminal state between “I’m comfortable at home with my cat” and “yes, I’m about to get turned the fuck up”, that state where one is not yet ready for the drugs and the glitz and the glamour, but a cosmo would do just fine, thanks.
OH GREAT, BEAUTIFUL JENNER-OF-THE-REAL, AS YOU MANIFEST THROUGH THE WORLDLY SPHERE OF MALKUTH, PLEASE BRING FORTH THE NEAR-PARTY STATE AND CREATE FOR ME THAT WHICH MY HEART DESIRES! I SHALL NAME IT BOP CITY, A NAME SUITABLE FOR SUCH A PLACE AS THAT WHICH YOU CREATE!
And with that, Kylie Jenner appears. She’s in a tight-fitting dress, appletini in hand, taking her thousandth Instagram of the day. She barely acknowledges me. “Oh. Hi. I guess we should go to that party now, huh. Are you coming?”
She leaves as quickly as she appeared. I collapse, breathless, the magickal energies of the summoning overwhelming me, as I listen to the slick, minimalistic mood music that Kylie-of-the-actual has gifted to me, to all of us, to mark our transition between party states with something truly special, truly in-between.
Thus closes this account of the summoning of October 21, 2016, in the name of HRU, thy will be done.